month one

Baby G is four weeks old on Monday. Amazing how having a newborn is simultaneously exhausting and also mind-numbingly boring. It helps to know firsthand that they do eventually become more like people and less like blobs, but man, time sure does drag during these first months. 

My blob baby right now looks like a sad blend of hormonal teenager and elderly man. (He has acne, greasy skin, and a receding hairline.) He's not going to win any cute baby contests. And when I say things like this, the baby people look highly scandalized. I'm sorry, baby people! I respect the fact that you enjoy everything about these little blobs, but that doesn't mean I understand you. I do love my baby, I just don't think he's super cute or interesting right now. Sue me. 

(Secretly I think people who really love babies have tyrannical souls: what sort of person so enjoys having complete authority over totally helpless blob creatures?)

Other than the boredom, the most trying thing about having a newborn is having a newborn and a toddler. Someone on Instagram somewhere said that having a first kid is an existential crisis, but having a second kid is a logistical crisis. This rings quite true so far. The hardest part of the day is toddler bedtime, because it inevitably coincides with the baby having a meltdown while Josh makes adult dinner. I only have two hands! I cannot feed the baby in a dark quiet room while also giving Jonah a bath and reading him a book. 

So far in these scenarios the baby loses, because the baby doesn't really know the difference and he can cry for 15 minutes without it being a huge problem. But once the baby becomes more like a person I think this will become even harder. 

To his credit, Jonah is taking all this like a champ. He's not super interested in the baby, because the baby doesn't do much, but he clearly likes him. He's always giving him hugs and "helping" me give him a bottle. So far he's a very good big brother, but we'll see how it goes when the baby is old enough to want to play with his toys! 

Nights aren't great, though he did give me a five hour stretch a few days ago! It was amazing. I have no idea what caused it, but I'm hoping it gets repeated soon and often. 

Birth

Back in March I wrote about how I never wanted to give birth again and now, having given birth again, I can reaffirm that yes, giving birth is terrible and I was right to never want to do it again. 

Don't get me wrong: this particular birth was far, far superior to the first one. Mostly because I entered the hospital at 8:30 on Monday morning and I had the baby out of me by 11:04am. Waaaay better than the 60+ hours I spent trying to get the baby out before the extremely painful surgery last time. 

And this c-section was not painful at all! I had a very frank conversation with the anesthesiologist before I went into surgery, where I basically told him that if I felt any pain I was going to put a hex on him and his entire family.  And god bless him because he understood the assignment, and I felt absolutely no pain at all. If anything he may have taken me a little too seriously, because I was so sleepy during the operation I could barely keep my eyes open. But I am not complaining! 

The baby apparently had no intentions of coming out the regular way, either. They checked me for contractions for weeks before delivery and up until a couple hours before I went into surgery – nothing, nada. Not even a little braxton hicks! It's so strange to have had two full term pregnancies and never experienced a single contraction. It's hard not to wonder what would have happened to me before modern obstetrics. Maybe I just have 43 week babies? Seems like a bad strategy! 

The c-section recovery has been about the same as last time, except for one hiccup: when I went into the hospital, I had a slight head cold. I didn't think too much of it, which in retrospect was really, really dumb. Turns out, coughing or blowing your nose while you have an abdominal wound is exceptionally unpleasant. 

Long story short: the cold festered while I was lying in a hospital bed for several days, and now I have a double ear infection. And while I don't think I've pulled any stitches from coughing, I'm sure it hasn't helped my recovery much. I'm on antibiotics and already feel better, thankfully. But going to urgent care for amoxicillin 7 days after giving birth was not ideal. 

My conclusion: I sincerely hope that I do not have to be back in the hospital for at least 40 years. 

In baby news: the little one is pretty good, as far as infants go! He's already sleeping for fairly long stretches at night, which actually I find somewhat disconcerting. I keep thinking that the other shoe is about to drop. Honestly, I find newborns very boring: cry, eat, pee, poop, repeat. But he's cute, and he appears to have dark hair like me, which makes me happy. His big brother is very excited about him, which also makes me happy. He calls him "Grabriel."

While Josh and I were in the hospital, my parents came to stay and take care of Jonah. When they arrived on Monday morning they took him out for pancakes so he wouldn't be upset as we were leaving. My mom wished me luck and gave me a hug. And Jonah, who is in a phase where he mimics people, turns to me and says in his little almost-three-year-old voice: "Good luck, Julia!" Cool as a cucumber. What a kid.