Friday, December 18, 2009

an open letter to ridiculous people.

Dear Female Undergrad Student Body,

It is 39º degrees here in Washington, DC today. That's pretty cold. Not Chicago in January, mind you, but still, it's cold enough. Indeed, it is cold enough for me to be wearing leggings, knee-length socks, leather boots, corduroy pants, a long sleeve shirt, a sweater, a winter coat, gloves and a scarf. My walk to the bus this morning was pleasingly comfortable; not too warm, not too cold. And yet, when I arrived on campus, I spied you, Female Undergrad Student Body, being absolutely ridiculous, and wearing NO PANTS.

Seriously, Female Undergrad Student Body, I realize that pants can be constraining; they dig into your hips while you sit all day in the library writing papers, they sometimes make weird sounds as your legs rub together when you walk, buying them costs money, etc. I understand, I really do, because oftentimes the first thing I do when I get home at night is take off my pants. But you see, Female Undergrad Student Body, the key difference here is that I take off my pants at home while you wander around campus wearing only leggings. Leggings are not pants. And judging by how cold your ass must be right now, surely you can realize this.

The university you attend costs $35,000 a year. If you can afford that (and judging by the Uggs you're wearing, you probably can) then there is no reason to be walking around in your underwear.

Toastily yours,

Julia

11 comments:

FLG said...
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Jennie said...

leggings-as-pants is such a fashion nightmare. unforch, brown undergrads ALSO think this is a fantastic idea.

Julia said...

FLG: No worries. Not even adequate preparation could have assuaged by outrage on this point.

Jennie: I am saddened to hear this, if only because Providence is way colder than DC. Seriously, though, what is it with these kids? I don't remember people wearing leggings as pants at Chicago. Am I misremembering things?

Miss Self-Important said...

Leggings were only in their infancy as a fashion item while we were in college and so typically required a skirt. But I think some people were already moving forward towards the -as-pants phase.

I've grown to accept leggings as pants. But I refuse to accept Uggs and sleeping bag coats. Everyone has their limits.

Julia said...

I accept your explanation for the leggings, but not your acceptance of them. So I'm just going to pretend you didn't write that, and if I ever see you without pants on in December, I will just pretend I don't know you.

Alex said...

I think there is a new breed of leggings (perhaps called "riding pants"?)that are slightly thicker than our generation of leggings, thus giving those who were prone to wearing them as pants before even more encouragement. People are even wearing them to work! Totally inappropriate! Put on some damn PANTS, people!

Miss Self-Important said...

This is true. There is even a denim style now called leggings, which are basically super tight, super thin jeans.

Phoebe Maltz Bovy said...

The thing at NYU now is to go beyond leggings-as-pants and just wear regular tights - as in, control-top-often-visible - as pants, whatever the weather. It's bad news.

Julia said...

That is truly horrifying, Phoebe. I'm worried. It seems like only a matter of time until people start walking around naked. Will we have returned to the state of nature by then?

Julia said...

Also, Rita, you need to sleep more. What were you doing posting at 4 am??

Miss Self-Important said...

That is my new sleep schedule thanks to finals. Unfortunately, it has persisted past finals.