My one-year work anniversary is coming up next week, and as with any anniversary, the year seems somehow to have taken forever and also no time at all.
12 months ago I had just gotten a permanent job offer, but I'd been working in temporary positions off-and-on for over 6 months, since before I even defended my dissertation. I was hugely anxious anyway, though—being without steady work for a few months felt like I would be without a job forever. In retrospect everything seems like it was obviously going to work out, but I was right to be anxious, and very, very lucky to find steady work just 6 months after defending. Especially considering how thoroughly, and for so many years, I had avoided thinking about what I was going to do after school.
Overall, though, what I've learned (remembered?) this year is how much I enjoy working. I miss grad school for many reasons, not the least of which are the friends I made there who have now scattered, but I don't miss being a grad student at all. The work was engaging, but I didn't enjoy it. By the end I was so frustrated, I could barely suppress my disdain for the entire system and everyone who had a hand in maintaining it. And after I'd finished, I was so anxious I'd never work again it seemed impossible that I'd ever find anything satisfying to do. After a year at work, though, I can say that I have occasionally been useful to individuals who have appreciated it. (And paid me adequately for it.) That is a modest accomplishment, but one that I've found surprisingly enjoyable.
12 months ago I had just gotten a permanent job offer, but I'd been working in temporary positions off-and-on for over 6 months, since before I even defended my dissertation. I was hugely anxious anyway, though—being without steady work for a few months felt like I would be without a job forever. In retrospect everything seems like it was obviously going to work out, but I was right to be anxious, and very, very lucky to find steady work just 6 months after defending. Especially considering how thoroughly, and for so many years, I had avoided thinking about what I was going to do after school.
Overall, though, what I've learned (remembered?) this year is how much I enjoy working. I miss grad school for many reasons, not the least of which are the friends I made there who have now scattered, but I don't miss being a grad student at all. The work was engaging, but I didn't enjoy it. By the end I was so frustrated, I could barely suppress my disdain for the entire system and everyone who had a hand in maintaining it. And after I'd finished, I was so anxious I'd never work again it seemed impossible that I'd ever find anything satisfying to do. After a year at work, though, I can say that I have occasionally been useful to individuals who have appreciated it. (And paid me adequately for it.) That is a modest accomplishment, but one that I've found surprisingly enjoyable.
By that measure, though, I probably should have been a plumber. There's still time!
1 comment:
Being a grad student IS horrible. I try to dissuade everyone who contacts me about it and it never works. People are full of self-destructive impulses.
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