pity the one-handed

I fractured my wrist yesterday. I slipped on some ice while walking my dog and landed on my right hand. As far as they can tell from the x-rays—and still I'm shocked how much the doctor at urgent care couldn't tell me—it's only a minor hairline fracture. But it still hurts like hell and my right hand is in a hard splint, which means I'm typing this one-handed. (And very, very, sloooowly.)

It's a huge bummer. So I just wanted to share with you, Dear Readers, some things that are very hard to do with one hand (especially your non-dominant hand) so you can appreciate how nice it is to have two:

• Squeezing toothpaste onto a toothbrush
• Flossing
• Putting your hair in a ponytail
• Putting on a bra that has hooks
• Tying your shoes
• Applying deodorant (one underarm is easy, the other is real hard)
• Applying eyeliner
• Cutting your fingernails
• Putting on earring that require backings
• Cooking anything more complicated than canned soup
• Twisting off the lid of a jar
• Picking up dog poop (don't miss this one, but sometimes it's required)
• Washing dishes (same as previous)

Props to Josh for waiting with me at urgent care for two hours and also assisting me with everything on this list. There's nothing like being injured to remind you to appreciate your spouse.

I am going to see an orthopedic hand and wrist specialist tomorrow, and I'm hoping they tell me it's miraculously cured. This seems to be an actual possibility, since no two doctors ever give me the same information about anything. I wish I had friends who are (medical) doctors, so they could explain to me how medicine, which is clearly an art, has somehow managed to pass itself off as a science.