33 weeks and the fun continues

The baby will not stop moving, and it's driving me crazy. The first few months it's impossible to concentrate because you're trying not to puke, then the last couple months it's impossible to concentrate because you are constantly being thwacked from the inside. I'm up at 3am trying to figure out what kind of dance he's doing. Such a weird feeling. Take a damn break, kid! 

I'm trying very, very hard not to think too much about the size of the parasite inside me. Also trying very hard not to think of him as a parasite. But he is a parasite. He's just in there, floating! In a bag! Growing limbs! Feeding off me through a weird tether, made possible through the formation of an entire organ that didn't exist 9 months ago. And that I will summarily shed as soon as he is expelled from my body. 

The whole thing is just so damn creepy. Nothing makes me feel more like an animal than pregnancy. You know when you watch Animal Planet and there's a special on the horned toad, or whatever? And you're totally amazed to learn they have some crazy organ that sprouts when they're breeding 10,000 eggs? I feel like I am at least as strange as the horned toad, possibly more so. I deserve my own special on Animal Planet. 

And did you know that no one has any idea why or how labor is triggered? Every single person on this planet is born (somehow!) and yet we have no idea what gets that process started! So I have all these instagrammers telling me to eat dates to trigger labor. Like this is the fucking 14th century and we're still using fruit to perform medical miracles! I just cannot. 

A definite symptom of this pregnancy is overwhelming grumpiness. I don't remember my mood being quite this bad last time. I'm not sad, just extremely annoyed. Most of this is directed at my boss and my coworkers, though I also hate all the drivers in a 30 mile radius, every doctor I meet, and, sometimes, my family. 

My leave from work starts in a month, which I'm hoping will cut down on the grumpiness, since work has been a main source of frustration lately. But it's possible that I will just start to redirect my bad mood towards other areas of my life, once I'm no longer working. My poor family will just have to deal with me, I guess.