Next Tuesday marks the 10th anniversary of my dissertation defense. I find myself uncharacteristically verklempt about this. I think it's because, contrary to popular experience, grad school was one of the happiest periods of my life.
It sounds super cheesy, but grad school was really fun. Not all of it (not the paycheck!) but intellectually I really miss having half a dozen people around all the time who want to talk to me very intensely about super esoteric stuff. I miss being able to mention Plato in casual conversation. Turns out, most people don't appreciate a casual Plato mention.
I think part of me is also sad because I didn't expect to never work in political theory again. It's not that my academic training hasn't been useful — it has, both personally and professionally — but I thought I'd be able to do something for work that was at least adjacent to political theory. Looking back now that was a very silly expectation! Work that is adjacent to political theory is political (even at a university) and I don't like politics.
And on the other hand, I have no regrets about leaving academia. And no regrets about getting a PhD. So I'll try to be grateful for the lack of regrets. I would also say that I'll attempt to find more friends who want to talk to me about Plato, but that seems like it would severely limit my options and I don't have many friends as it is.
2 comments:
I mean, you can talk to me about Plato, but even I wish to escape him most of the time. Seems like you could potentially find a lot of people who'd talk to you about Plato in your particular environs though; they'd all just be annoying academics.
Yes, I could (and have) talked to you about Plato. And we are friends, so that’s good. It’s not that I wish to talk about Plato all the time in an academic way, but sometimes (rarely!) I want to mention him or Tocqueville or Nietzsche because to me they are relevant. But then I realize that no one I work or hang out with socially has ever read any of this stuff. This is fine, but it occasionally makes me sad. It’s like having a weird talent that no one appreciates.
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