fake trees and plastic people.

Traditionally, I loathe New Years. Too much expectation, never any fun. This year, though, Christmas is coming up as my least favorite holiday. Not only has my family bought a fake (fake! ahhhh!) Christmas tree, but the hoards of holiday shoppers flooding New York has made this years consumption-fest incredibly unpleasant. I know the dollar is weak, and New York is awesome, but can you please, please learn to walk faster? I kind of, like, have places to be. Kthnx.

Or maybe my lack of holiday cheer has something to do with the insipid diamond commercials that play every commercial break. Really, can they be any more saccharine? ("Show you really care...buy your wife some conflict diamonds!") My fervent Christmas wish is that Zales and Kay Jewelers annihilate each other in some freak diamond competition.

To top it all off - you thought I couldn't possibly keep whining, but think again - my cousin (who has a lot in common with Barbie) is getting married the Friday before Christmas. So in addition to presents, I had to buy a dress and shoes and a bag; I'm getting my hair cut, my eyebrows threaded, my nails done, etc, etc. I plan make all the effort worthwhile, btw, by drinking an obscene amount of alcohol at the open bar. The only blessing: I am re-gifting something for the wedding present.

I know, I sound like Scrooge. Well, bahfuckinhumbug. Dickens can bite me.

On the other hand, as much as Christmas is shaping up to suck, I'm excited about New Years. I have plans with awesome people, dinner reservations at a nice restaurant, and I even have a dress to wear (cause, you know, I just wore it to a wedding). So, in the long run, the holiday season will probably end up being just as shitty and just as fun as any other year. Three cheers for balance.