I quit facebook back in April 2012, and at the time I thought the break would be temporary. I was fairly certain that my need to keep up with lapsed friends, random acquaintances, and middle school crushes would, eventually, lure me back. It has not. I don't miss it at all. Turns out, falling out of touch with people is often a natural consequence of time and distance, and it's really ok to start forgetting the names of people you knew in high school.
At the time I quit facebook, you couldn't actually delete your account, you could only "suspend" it. This basically made you invisible; your profile would remain forever in hibernation somewhere in the ether of the internet. Last week I learned that this changed, and you can now delete your profile forever. So I can now confirm: my Face has been deleted from the Book.
Mostly everyone I know is on facebook, except for Josh and my parents. (Or it seems like everyone is on it; I have no way of checking.) What strikes me is that, whenever I mention I'm not on facebook, the response is always some version of "Oh, I wish I could quit!" I never suggest that people should quit, but they seem compelled to tell me they want to. Then they invariably explain why they can't: they use it to stay in touch with family/friends/former nemeses, they enjoying being voyeurs and don't post anything personal, the connections are more valuable than the timesuck, etc, etc. All fine reasons, I can't quibble with them.
The strong implication, however, is that I have done something noble and good by (mostly) exiting the social media landscape. (I say mostly because you can find me on instagram and linkedin, though to say I fly under the radar there would be an understatement. And of course I write this blog, which has 4 readers. (Hello, friends!)) I know that not being on social media is good for me personally, but it's hardly a noble sacrifice. If you're worried about facebook rotting your soul, here's a pro tip: it's optional. Just click "cancel." And similarly, I don't get all the hand-wringing over social media in the wake of the election—misinformation and uncivil discourse aren't exactly new. This is not to minimize our current societal problems, which I think are great; I'm just pretty sure that something as superficial as facebook is not the cause of them.
The best metaphor I have for social media is that it's like sitting at a cafe and overhearing the totally mundane conversation of the couple sitting next to you. Some people love to eavesdrop, and others will immediately put on their noise-canceling headphones. Some people love to be overheard, and others want privacy. I'm in the latter category on both counts. At my most basic level, I don't care that much about what the hive mind is thinking, and I certainly don't want the hive mind to be thinking about me. I also don't have much of an interest in what most people are up to in their daily lives. I don't care about my second-cousin's political opinions, or the new house the dude I sat next to in calculus just bought, or that pie my middle school acquaintance baked for Thanksgiving. I do care about my family and friends and coworkers, though, and I like to know what they're up to. I also enjoy receiving pictures of their babies/pies/pets/new houses.
And I care what you're up to, Dear Reader. Write me a letter! Give me a call! I'm pretty sure you all have my number.
At the time I quit facebook, you couldn't actually delete your account, you could only "suspend" it. This basically made you invisible; your profile would remain forever in hibernation somewhere in the ether of the internet. Last week I learned that this changed, and you can now delete your profile forever. So I can now confirm: my Face has been deleted from the Book.
Mostly everyone I know is on facebook, except for Josh and my parents. (Or it seems like everyone is on it; I have no way of checking.) What strikes me is that, whenever I mention I'm not on facebook, the response is always some version of "Oh, I wish I could quit!" I never suggest that people should quit, but they seem compelled to tell me they want to. Then they invariably explain why they can't: they use it to stay in touch with family/friends/former nemeses, they enjoying being voyeurs and don't post anything personal, the connections are more valuable than the timesuck, etc, etc. All fine reasons, I can't quibble with them.
The strong implication, however, is that I have done something noble and good by (mostly) exiting the social media landscape. (I say mostly because you can find me on instagram and linkedin, though to say I fly under the radar there would be an understatement. And of course I write this blog, which has 4 readers. (Hello, friends!)) I know that not being on social media is good for me personally, but it's hardly a noble sacrifice. If you're worried about facebook rotting your soul, here's a pro tip: it's optional. Just click "cancel." And similarly, I don't get all the hand-wringing over social media in the wake of the election—misinformation and uncivil discourse aren't exactly new. This is not to minimize our current societal problems, which I think are great; I'm just pretty sure that something as superficial as facebook is not the cause of them.
The best metaphor I have for social media is that it's like sitting at a cafe and overhearing the totally mundane conversation of the couple sitting next to you. Some people love to eavesdrop, and others will immediately put on their noise-canceling headphones. Some people love to be overheard, and others want privacy. I'm in the latter category on both counts. At my most basic level, I don't care that much about what the hive mind is thinking, and I certainly don't want the hive mind to be thinking about me. I also don't have much of an interest in what most people are up to in their daily lives. I don't care about my second-cousin's political opinions, or the new house the dude I sat next to in calculus just bought, or that pie my middle school acquaintance baked for Thanksgiving. I do care about my family and friends and coworkers, though, and I like to know what they're up to. I also enjoy receiving pictures of their babies/pies/pets/new houses.
And I care what you're up to, Dear Reader. Write me a letter! Give me a call! I'm pretty sure you all have my number.
11 comments:
It's a collective action problem. I'd quit if everyone else did too, but they won't, so I won't. Taking unilateral action on this issue therefore does make you noble, since most people (that I know, at least) do seem to agree that, whatever its benefits, Facebook is a net Bad.
So facebook is the equivalent of dirty dishes in the sink of a group house? No one wants to take responsibility for the net Bad, so they just continue subjecting themselves to it? That just makes me sad.
Yes. And the person who finally does those dishes is a hero, but goes unrewarded. Except in the FB case, your cancelling your account doesn't solve the problem for everyone else. So maybe it's like if you only did enough dishes to use for your own meal prep and left the rest in the sink.
Good analogy. That's pretty much exactly what I did when I had roommates who left their dirty dishes in the sink. I also moved out and got a dishwasher. So I might be on my way to living my best life. Go me.
I'm still losing at life because I still don't have a dishwasher (and am on fb), but I love this post and miss you!
I feel bad about the dishwasher mention now! I am a smug dishwasher haver and facebook quitter. Miss you too! I should come out to your neck of the woods soon and help wash some dishes. :)
Hahaha. Yes--you should come! Or we would be happy to meet up in Chicago which would probably be a more interesting place to hang out:)
The problem with a dishwasher for us is that half of our door is cemented shut so we can't get one up the steps...That and we haven't even had time to buy furniture to replace the stuff the movers broke, so let's just say a dresser and bookshelves are higher up the list.
Basically, you've made really good life choices:)
Re: social media and the election. You don't think that absent social media it would be harder for the conspiracy theorists to find and reinforce and coalition-build together? Or for Russia to spread fake news stories? Or, to be balanced, for smug liberals to annoy and shame the heck out of those they would have otherwise quietly ignored?
Sure, I think social media is a great tool for doing all of that. And if I could erase social media (and cable news) with the wave of a wand, I probably would. Bad news is that the countries already doing something like this (Iran, North Korea, Bangladesh) are not a fun list.
While facebook or other social media might exacerbate the problems you mention, I don't think they create them. Ignorance and disrespect do that.
Sure, they don't create them, but the outcomes of them can be much more dire and frequent. For example, I think pizzagate at comet would be much less likely to be happening. The ease with which insane people can congregate and mobilize is new. Before their insanity was parochial, but now it affects everyone. Of course we can't erase social media and cable news, but I do think we have to grapple with how to handle the...exacerbations of these old problems.
I don't disagree with you. I just think social media is a tool, not a cause. People have always been terrible to one another, that's nothing that social media created. And events are dire, but I don't think they are more dire than what previous generations have faced.
Also, how we can "grapple" with social media in any effective way without infringing on our freedom? I think focusing too much on social media distracts us from the much harder questions that it raises: namely, why are people so eager to believe lies and insult one another?
Post a Comment