I have no interest in breastfeeding—never have, never will. I have my reasons, and since they are both my reasons and my boobs, I feel very little need to explain myself. Yes, I understand that lots of moms love it and that babies love it and that it prevents cancer and makes unicorns appear, but I will be very frank: I do not care. A central tenet of human freedom, I believe, is that everyone should feel free to do as she wishes with her own breasts. I think people should breastfeed wherever they want whenever they want! Your nipples, your choice! And I will reserve the right to not breastfeed at all.
I am not dumb enough to imagine that people would find my decision laudable, but I had hoped they would not feel the need to comment on it. I had especially hoped that my doctor would refrain from weighing in on this decision, but alas, my hopes have been dashed. Yesterday I made the great mistake of telling her that the breast pump prescription she gave me, without asking, was not necessary. The result was an extremely unfruitful conversation that resulted in her suggesting: 1) many unproven things about the benefits of breastfeeding vs. formula feeding, 2) that formula is prohibitively expensive and I probably can't afford it, and 3) that a great compromise would be to just pump exclusively.
The first suggestion was disconcerting, since I have read a lot about breastfeeding (in preparation for the onslaught of objections I knew I would face) and I know that what she told me has not been proven by any research. The second suggestion was hilarious—with all the money we're going to spend on childcare, not to mention diapers and clothes, she thinks I should worry about formula?? I understand that formula for an infant costs a couple hundred dollars a month, but how many hours a week do you spend breastfeeding an infant? (One estimate clocks in at 1,800 hours a year, or about 30 hours a week.) I will gladly pay $50 a week not to do something I find extremely unappealing. (I'll take the money out of his college fund, evil mother that I am.)
The third suggestion, that pumping exclusively was a happy compromise I could easily pursue, was pretty surprising. Why on earth would she think that pumping would be more appealing than feeding the baby directly? The whole point is that I don't want to be milked. A milking machine is perhaps only slightly preferable because it won't bite me, but otherwise it seems like a substitution without a difference.
At the time, I believe my response to these various arguments was, "ummm, ok, I'll think about it." I don't regret this response and plan to use it pretty uniformly going forward, while I simultaneously do whatever I want. I figure they won't go so far as to drug me and put the baby at my boob, so at the end of the day I'll win this battle.
I do wonder, though: if I had told my doctor I planned not to vaccinate, or not to vaccinate according to schedule, would I have gotten this much horrified pushback? Somehow I doubt it.
5 comments:
I'm sorry that your doctor pressured you. I think a lot of what doctors say is scripted. I've tried to convince them that they don't have to explain baby proofing to me or that my kid who doesn't drink milk is fine to no avail. And I never mention bed sharing to doctors.
I fully support your not breastfeeding and I also did not breastfeed, but you might need a pump for a little bit, no? Just to relieve the pressure when your milk comes in. Or are you planning to ask for something so that it doesn't come in at all- do they still do that?
Emily: You are so correct, it's just like they're reading a script! I hadn't thought of it this way but it accounts for a lot of my frustration with doctors. It's really a shame that they do this because it just encourages patients to lie, or at least be selective in what they share. I am not likely to be forthcoming with my doctor in future, that's for sure.
Alex: I don't think so? Everything I've read (which is not much because no one writes about it anymore) says that if you just leave things alone your milk dries up in a few days. It will be uncomfortable, but pumping just prolongs the process. (Did you pump?) Pain relief, ice, and Sudafed seem to be the common remedies. I don't think there's any way to prevent your milk from coming in at all, and even if there was I'm sure no medical establishment will give me such a drug. Kind of too bad I can't ask my doctor about this, isn't it?
I agree that it encourages people to lie. It's also a condescending way to treat patients. People with disabilities who see doctors often complain a lot about how they are treated by doctors.
Cabbage leaves? That's really old fashioned, but who knows?
I did pump for a while because I was planning to try to nurse after the twins were out of the NICU and strong enough to do so. When that wasn't working out, I stopped, because I think you are completely right that exclusive pumping benefits nobody.
My mom did not nurse at all but said she needed to pump a few times to relieve pressure. There are hormone shots they can give you so your milk doesn't come in at all, but you are probably right that they don't give them anymore
Post a Comment