top five.

If I were to make a list, á la Rob Gordon, of my all-time top five possible careers (if history, money and qualification were no object) this would be it:

1. Any kind of political person in the Florentine Republic, at some point between 1494 and 1512. I just want to work with Machiavelli. I don’t want to be powerful, or anything. Actually I’d prefer not to be important, that way when the Medici seize power, I won’t be tortured.
2. Co-owner of Shakespeare & Company, 1919-1941. I don’t want to steal Sylvia Beach’s thunder, but Paris between the wars, who wouldn’t want to be there? I’d get to meet Hemingway, Fitzgerald, James Joyce, T.S. Eliot, etc, etc.
3. Book reviewer/staff writer for the New Yorker at any point between 1930 and 1965. Exciting times, exciting people. But really, I would condescend to write for the New Yorker at any point. (I love you, Nick Paumgarten!)
4. Book cover designer. I don’t just mean making dust covers, people; I’m talking about Art with a capital “A.” And I’d want to be somebody really good, like Chip Kidd or Jon Gray or Helen Yentus. I’d get to read books and play around with fonts. It would be marvelous.
5. Movie credit designer. Again, Art. Think of the credits for Monsoon Wedding or Volver or Fight Club. You know, badass shit.

If you were to point out to me that the most realistic of these professions would require many years of art school and innate ability I don’t happen to possess, I would have to agree with you. And if you were to point out that I’m really better suited, given that history and money and qualifications are objects, for the job I have now, I’d have to say you were right again.

Oh, well.